Bum Knees

I recently was inspired, by both a friend and myself, to start running again.  In high school I ran cross country and loved it.  Although my teammates may have dismissed me for the party girl who doesn't care that much, I reached an ethereal place when I ran.  It was my sanctuary. It was a high.

Two weeks ago I signed up to get on a 5k program because I knew I needed to ease into it.  It consists of warming up, dynamic stretching, walking and then running 60 seconds, walking 90 (for about 8 intervals), then walking and stretching by holding stretches for 30 seconds.  This seems easy, and it was. Not only was this a wonderful, natural progression, but I was again on my runner's high.  Well, my knees also got high and then really, really low.  That's right, I have Runner's Knee.  In both knees.  Yuck!

I can't quite explain how painful it is.  I actually imagine that mothers who endure the pain of c-sections to be in as much pain as I as was going up and down the stairs.  The stairs are brutal.  I've been icing and I reluctantly took Motrin today to ease the pain.  Not only is it painful to walk around with my 25 pound child but it's painful to not run.  I'm truly heartbroken by it.  To make the heart break worse, my husband also started this program with me and is suffering no pain at all.  I'm angry at him.  He didn't even care if he started running or not.  In fact, I pushed him to join me.  I'm jealous.  He gets to take MY idea and relish in the feeling the that I craved so badly and now have to miss out on.  The bitterness is taking hold of me right now and I need to find a way out.

I'm trying to keep a positive mindset and convince myself that my upper leg muscles will get stronger after my new exercises and I will run again.  This is hard though.  It's also hard to explain to him what running does for me.  I've tried to achieve this feeling through yoga, pilates and other exercise programs but it just isn't there.  Running is for me.  I need it.  I want it.  With this desire comes strength and hopefully my knees will be understanding.