Your perspective is your reality

Often we worry about what others think of us. How often though would their opinions really affect the way we live our lives? Hopefully not too much! Yes, people coming in and out of our lives act as teachers. Their lessons can come to us in a positive or negative fashion, but either way they leave some sort of impact whether you are reminded of it every day or never think twice about them.

I have struggled with how others perceive me for most of my life. I hate feeling judged. It's imaginable that most people do. Whether or not people like what I have to say, I'm very honest. The problem is that I'm also sometimes a little too blunt. Working on that, thanks to my husband. It's actually been a work in progress for the last seven years of our marriage. Luckily he is patient.

Is honesty the best policy if you don't use the best words or tone? I would like to think yes. I'm completely turned off by someone who lies or deceives me. Yesterday morning in the shower (this is where I put on my thinking cap) I decided that honesty, no matter it's context, always has the upper hand in a situation. I will continue to be upfront, honest and may sparingly sugar coat so that I don't come off as an ice-cold bitch.  I told my husband after my shower aha! moment that even though people may not like what I have to say, they will know that I'm speaking, feeling and projecting my honesty. THAT will resonate. They will feel it and remember it. At first, it may be unappealing but so are lies. That bad taste from a lie sticks around for a long time. The bitterness that may come with an honest approach fades quickly and people are more likely to appreciate it later.

Fearing what others think of us is a huge waste of time. I saw this picture today...what a great reminder of my thoughts from yesterday.

And of course Dr. Suess always worded things quite well. This was actually my mantra last month.

Lighting My Fire

Despite my last post, there are a LOT of things I want to accomplish in my next year. And, I figure if I write them down then I will hold myself more accountable for them. So here goes...

In 2013 I want to WILL:

• Plant a better garden. Each year our garden grows in size, but the yield, err not so much. I take that back. Two years ago there were a lot of veggies, but I became pregnant with our third child and the morning sickness drew such a veil between me and the garden. I could see it and I wanted them so badly but the thought of picking them and preparing them and eating them made me ill. This year I will continue my studies on how to treat each seed or plant respectively and not get pregnant.
• Cook More. We started the year with very little money in our bank account. In fact, we are having to get creative on how to save enough money to pay our bills over the next two months. We have had a eating out problem pretty much since we started dating. I REALLY do love to cook. I like to experiment by coming up with my own recipes, and I find it rewarding to eat and see my family eat a great meal that I made. I would also like to invite my friends to cook with us. Seeing that our finances are low and I like to eat food that other people make as well, a Cooking with Friends club sounds like a fine idea. Each couple cooks a side or entire, one brings wine to compliment and have a party! Wee!
• Grow My Business(es). I started a home-based business at the end of last summer. Things rapidly took off for me. Many of my friends, family and acquaintances hosted presentations for me. More than not, the parties were a huge success. I think my passion for it was apparent and WHY I chose the company I did resonated with people. The last two months have been slow, as I could have guessed but I'm ready to hit the ground running for the rest of 2013. I also have a couple other home-based ideas that I'm toying with, but since they aren't an established company I will need someone to invest in me and my ideas.
• Write. I have always been a writer. Since high school, I always dreamed of being an English teacher. I no longer have those dreams. I'm home schooling our children, and so, neither myself or they will be in the public school system. My dreams have changed quite a bit. Yes, I want my home-based business to succeed, but I also want that to create the means to do the other things in life that I desire. Writing will help those dreams figure themselves out. Or help me figure them out. Whichever way that all works.
• Mother More. I would like to say that I'm a pretty good mother. Do I think I could be better? Uh, yeah. A lot better. I have read quite a few different blogs, articles, book about parenting and they all help me decide what I do or do not want to be a part of my parenting style. I plainly would just like to DO more with them. I sometimes think I may be a bit lazy. I want to actually do all the science experiments that I "pin" and teach my daughter to sew (even though I have quite a bit to learn myself).

There. That's just some of it.

Take things slowly...

Needless to say that when we embark on a new year we feel an urge to do everything. Exercise, Eat Better, Get Organized, Clean up our finances, Be a better wife or husband or mother or friend or PERSON. The reason that most New Year's Resolutions fail is because there are resolutionS. Yes, I capitalized the "s" on purpose. Too many new goals become overwhelming and we can't, as humans, perfect all these things all at once. So why not just forget about all those wonderful things and just be the same person we were last year? That's often what happens. What we need to do is set monthly goals.

Many of us have heard that in order to make a habit stick we must practice it for 21 days. I say 30 is even better. I'm reading "Happier at Home" now and she has a different area of her life each month that she focuses on. After the first couple chapters I realized that the reason she gives complete focus to her Marriage one month, and her children the next is because it really takes an entire month to figure out how to make things the best they can be. Starting out a new diet is hard. Starting a work out regimen is even harder (in my opinion). Then couple it with the finances our attitude and whatever other goals we strive for can just be a heavy load to carry all at once. Granted, I've been on a mission to organize my house. I feel that before I prepare my taxes my desk has to be clean and Christmas just calls for rearranging and organizing. This took me a couple days, thanks to my husband for entertaining the children. Now I can move onto the next task...financial organization.

For me it's important to prioritize. Exercise is important, but it can wait one more month. :) Is it easier for me to get back to healthier eating habits? Yes, and that has already begun. Is a change of attitude a priority? Probably my highest. I feel this is something that needs to be practiced ALL THE TIME. No exceptions or excuses. I actually started a new habit last month to make me work toward this even harder.

I actually decided at the beginning of December that I was going to give myself a monthly mantra. I declared it in front of a group during a monthly team building meeting that I attend. Therefore I am also being held accountable. It feels scary and reassuring when you announce it to people, but it also produces results. After I did that I found myself constantly repeating that mantra. I firmly believe that by declaring it, I practiced it more. Yesterday we had another one of our meetings and I told them my plan of changing my mantra the day before our meeting. This month it is: "Be the most positive and enthusiastic person you know." I saw this quote just a few days previous and fell in love with it. There are people that I meet; and although I don't know some of them very well, I admire their love of life and positive energy that they make the room feel. I don't want to be them, I just want to make others feel that way and in turn I will feel pretty good too.

Change is hard sometimes but is so rewarding. I get a thrill at the beginning of a new year because it feels like a clean slate. You can change anything you want to. If people judge you or ask you why you're different, you just say that was last year.